I am often asked how this all started. It is one of my favorite questions. I love to think about the day I actually allowed myself to believe I could do this. After many years of working for wonderful people but in positions that simply did not make my heart skip beats at the thought of spending 8 hours a day, 5 days a week there…I had to create the change in my life I yearned for.
I have never been a traditionalist or a follower, and working in a 9-5 schedule has just never been something I have seen myself as able to conform to. I did it, for a long time. Having two boys at a very young age and having a very tumultuous relationship with money, I had to work. I had to make the effort every morning to wake up, drop my kids off and make my way to a place that made me feel like a robot all day long. I lost touch with myself during that time. I felt bizarre, different, I could even go as far as to say that I felt like a social reject. Why could Kevin my partner and father of my kids devote himself to a job that he did not love but did so well. In his words, a job is a job. I admire and envy him so much for that ability. He had been at his job for 14 years at that point, my record, two years…urghh.
Going back to the months before the leap, I remember feeling as though I was broken. I felt devastated for my children that their mom could not conform and make peace with staying in one job and making it work. I always felt very stuck I never ever told anyone how I felt, however Kevin knew. He could feel it.
One night while watching hockey, I started rambling on about my job as I had done every other night for the last six months, the dynamic and the bureaucracy, blah blah and then he snapped. Kevin stood up and looked at me right in the eyes and said “if you are so miserable, do something about it, Emma, take the leap”. Of course, I was stunned. He went on to convince me that if I did not take this leap I would regret it forever.
He saw my dedication, my focus, my passion and my love for my side business that I had built from our kitchen table begging people to try my cupcakes to booking 2 to 3 parties per weekend. He knew I came alive when I was baking or cooking or animating a birthday party. Every evening after work I was in the kitchen creating new recipes, baking, taking decorating classes etc…
I took his words to heart, this was my chance to prove to myself that I too could love my job, be passionate about my work and create my perfect life. It was imperative to me that my boys see that you could love what you do and that doesn’t always mean working a 9 to 5.
In May 2014, I took the leap! I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that, I have never been this tired, overwhelmed, stressed, happy, excited about every single minute of every day, even on my I can’t call in sick cause I’m near death but would not want to cause I don’t wanna miss a thing days ☺
This journey has taught me so much about myself, others, my community, my children and how truly blessed I am to have had so many amazing people believe in my dream. I am not broken; I have never felt so whole. Sometimes we ignore ourselves, that voice inside our head that we want to listen to so badly but we just need a gentle push, the truth is happiness is often hiding at the end of our comfort zone.